The perils of threesomes

This is actually my third attempt to blog on this topic. Events just kept overtaking my writing. But now enough time has passed that I can write on the topic.

My lover has already done a podcast describing our actual threesome, so I won't be going into those details (much). But I do think it's an interesting topic to blog about myself, particularly the part that was a surprise. But first a little setup.

Until last week I'd never had a threesome. The opportunity hadn't come up, and it was not high enough on my adventures list for me to have arranged one on my own. However, my lover and I had discussed it a number of times and she suggested we ask her friend SexxiKennedy to join us. Last Tuesday it just happened that Kennedy was in town and we talked her into coming over to visit us. When Kennedy's car pulled up in front Silvia-Mckenzie excitedly called me over because "you have to see her get out of her car...she is so beautiful". Indeed she is. Kennedy ended up spending a couple of nights with us, and that's where you'll just have to go listen to Silvia-Mckenzie's webcast for details.

I had a great time having both my lover and her friend around for a couple of evenings. I'm sure I was the envy of every man who saw us together...after all I had two beautiful women with me. I must admit I've gotten used to all the men looking at Silvia-Mckenzie when we are in public. At first it was a little disconcerting, even though it was great for my ego (hey, they may want her but she's with ME). And I'm less surprised then I was at the beginning of our relationship when I go somewhere on my own and they remember me because I was in once with Silvia-Mckenzie. Now I wonder who will remember the guy with two hotties wandering around town last week :-)

On Wednesday morning I realized something important, probably expected, and really quite cool. I was so totally into my lover the previous night that when I'm with her other people barely exist. We spent a couple of hours dancing in a club Tuesday night and even though it was really crowded, as far as I remember no one else was even there. Even Kennedy just "vanished" from my conscious, and making that beautiful a woman invisible is something even Penn and Teller aren't up to. Angelia Jolie could have thrown herself at me and I would have ignored her (ok, BS...I would have invited her to join us for a foursome). All kidding aside, I really liked the reminder of how intense my feelings are. It is one thing to "feel" them (which I do all the time), it is another to be able to see them in action.

The threesome actually happened on Wednesday night. Once again for details you'll have to listen to Silvia-Mckenzie's podcast, but something very important solidified in my head. When two people in a relationship have a threesome with another person (and I don't care if that person is a friend, paid companion, or just someone you picked up for the purpose) the third person is just a sex toy. The threesome was about Silvia and I, Kennedy was our sex toy. I think that's a very healthy way to view things because it keeps everyone's priorities straight. And that, as it turns out, is the real purpose of this blog post.

One of the first things you'll hear about threesomes is that they are emotionally risky. How could they not be? The first time you see your lover having sex with another person should be a revelation, and if you aren't prepared for it then bad things can happen. And you can't always prepare for it. Now going into this threesome I wasn't too worried because although it was my first time Silvia-Mckenzie has had them before. So if anyone was going to have a problem it was me, and I knew I wasn't going to have a problem. Well everything went fine, and seemed fine the next morning, and then sometime Thursday afternoon Silvia-Mckenzie experienced what she describes as her "spasm". You can see it in action on her blog.

It isn't my place to say what caused Silvia-Mckenzie's "spasm", though I now understand it. What is important for anyone considering a threesome is this: If someone as emotionally mature, comfortable in their own skin, secure, and "seen it all" experienced as Silvia-Mckenzie can be thrown by something that happens during a threesome then any of us can. Do not assume that you, your partner, or the third party is completely immune from having some kind of unexpected emotional response. Human interactions are just too complex to be completely predictable.