Women (almost) always TOP

Ok, before everyone get’s indignant let me clarify.  Outside the bedroom women almost always “top from the bottom”. 

So what do I mean?  Ignore the surface behaviors where men seem dominant and women seem submissive because any man (particularly any married man) will tell you that the woman always get’s what she wants.  We men are wired to be breeders, providers and to protect our families.  To do that we developed dominant personas which, in my opinion, range from very useful in modern life all the way to causing true dysfunction and anti-social behavior.   Except for wimps, and no one (particularly, if you read the personals, female dominants) likes a wimp.   The thing is, men are REALLY wired for their biological function.  And women have evolved to instinctively push men’s buttons.  You think I mean S-E-X?  Well, that certainly applies to our wiring for breeding.  But I think most women are actually better at manipulating men’s instinct to “provide and protect”.  Indeed, that may be the real reason so many women lose interest in sex once they have children:  they realize they no longer need it to manipulate their man.   Unfortunately they fail to take their mate’s long-term mental health into account, but that is a topic for another posting.

We acknowledge this situation in our vocabulary all the time.  A woman who is really skilled at this manipulation often has a “doting husband” while a woman who has really poor skills and thus resorts to more blatant techniques has a man who is “henpecked”.   Guys, the message here is that you actually want to find a woman who is good at manipulating you.   No one wants to be henpecked.

So if women “top from the bottom” in life why is their behavior so different in the bedroom?  In my experience that very same woman who can manipulate you into painting the bedroom pink, buying a minivan, or eating a vegemite sandwich (and they only legitimate reason I can see a guy eating a vegemite sandwich is because it leads to sex, otherwise why?  WHY?) will give you ZERO information about what they like when it comes to sex.  I mean, they always have an opinion on which shirt looks best on you but they’ll never let on if they prefer it when your tongue goes up and down or side to side.  They happily tell you you’re too rough when putting on the sunscreen, but never let you know how much pressure they like when you squeeze their breasts.   I don’t have an answer for this one, so maybe someone out there can enlighten me?

As for me, my younger experiences with women who would not communicate helped shape my interests in middle-age.  I like women who are assertive or even aggressive in bed.  I love great communications, both verbal and via body language.  I love it when my partner is truly lost in her own pleasure, and makes it a priority over pleasing me.  Even in a situation where I am clearly being “dominant”, I want these things to be true.  I guess that means even in the bedroom I want a woman who tops, whether from the top or from the bottom.  They are turn-ons for me.  So much so that if I knew it would make my partner truly wet, I’d eat a vegemite sandwich.